My Friend

some people think internet friends are something like "imaginary" friends. after all, you've never met them. but how many of the people you've actually met know and remember your birthday, the names of your pets, what your kids do and how proud you are of your spouse.

how many of them know how you struggle with your glucose levels, or your weight loss, or your eye strain. how many of them congratulate you when you've learned a new trick with code? how many of them know how much you love your mother? or how much she doesn't even like your sister-in-law? does your next door neighbor know your favorite color is green? or that you collect dragons and frogs? or that you love old time radio?

for a long time, as a member of the Other Worlds Cafe chat group, I knew a man whose sign-on was BLRWIZ. outside the O*W*C chatroom, i usually greeted him with "hi, handsome". He was a friendly, funny fan of science fiction. we chatted online, nightly, for almost ten years before i finally learned his given name was Brad. that was probably about 6 or 7 years ago. we talked about science fiction (of course), science, fantasy, puns, magic and cats. He had a cat named Yoda, and, later, a cat named Zardoz. we talked about our family and friends, our dreams and our disappointments.

 Brad and i called ourselves "lost twins". our birthdays are just 6 days apart. we had a lot of similar likes and dislikes. we both liked to chat. and we both cared enough to listen. no matter what the time of day, Brad was always there when i needed to talk to someone. he listened to my gripes about my sons, or my husband. he listened to my praise for them, too. we shared happy events, sad events, stories we were reading or listening to, and movies we had seen. we often chatted online all night.

nearly every day there was at least one e-mail from Brad with jokes, or pictures of cats, or links to videos of magic tricks. i don't know how he kept track, but it seems there was very little repetition, even though some of these things roll around the internet for years. i've kept all of them. some are inspirational, some are just "too cute", some are simply amazing. and there are a few personal notes that are encouraging or just "checking in".

he is gone, now. he fell. he didn't get back up. he tried. we prayed, and hoped, and we sent words of love and encouragement. i dearly hope they helped him in his struggle to recover. but he didn't get back up, and he is gone.

i will never again be able to greet him online ("hi, handsome"). i will never again receive an email from him with the latest LOLcats, or internet meme. i will never have the chance to meet him in person.

i am so terribly lucky to have known him. i was blessed that he considered me friend and called me "twin". i miss him.

Brad was my friend.